No man's land

Published on by dallashollis

You've just had another blazing row. You're not sure, but youthink it was triggered by the sugared almonds. Or maybe it was theseat covers. Whatever the reason, she's fuming and you're in thedoghouse.But the lead-up to your big day needn't require prescriptionsedatives. It can even be fun - for both of you. Not convinced? Putdown your Valium and pay attention.Taming Bridezilla Advertisement: Story continues below By now, you're accustomed to sleeping in the soft glow of herlaptop as she constructs a spreadsheet of federal budgetproportions. She's a Bridezilla, right?Not necessarily, says psychologist Amanda Gordon. "When bridesbecome distressed, it's usually for good reasons."Acknowledge her feelings. Give your support. Massage herfeet."What's more, there's nothing wrong with letting her run theshow, but only if you're both happy with that arrangement. Don'tthink you're off the hook, though - you should be doing at leasthalf the legwork.And don't feel compelled to muscle in on the limelight in thename of "equality"."In the old days, everyone recognised that this was the bride'sday and they would go out of their way to make her feel beautifuland wonderful and warm," Gordon says. "Let it be her day."Still, the reason you're having a wedding is to celebrate yourunion. Take some time out - just the two of you - to reflect on thesignificance of the day. Half an hour in that little rotunda afterthe photos Vestes moncler are done is perfect.If you genuinely feel you don't have enough input, speak up. Butfor heaven's sake, don't refer to your wedding as "just one moreday in the rest of our lives"."You don't want to trivialise it," Gordon says. "The ritual isvery important and you should never minimise that. But don't let itend up being all about the flowers and the hors d'oeuvres."Disagreements are inevitable, of course, but think of them as anopportunity to practise your communication and stress managementskills.The look"Most men are going for something funkier and less formal thanyour standard tuxedo," says Kirstie Armiger-Grant, fashion editorof Melbourne Bride magazine. "They don't want to be told what towear; they know how they want to look."This newfound liberation has its risks, however. Fortunately,there are some simple steps you can take to avoid disaster. Don't be stingy - cheap fabric always looks awful. Expect tospend a few thousand dollars on a good suit (Hugo Boss and Zegnaare recommended). Think of it as an investment you can wearagain. If you don't normally wear suits or your budget won't stretchthat far, rent one. Most hire outlets charge $150 to $250. Go for something that suits you, not something that's"fashionable". A good fit is more important than the style. "You must get anexpert fit," Armiger-Grant says. "There's nothing worse than seeinga guy at the altar with his jacket not sitting right and his shirtbuttons pulling." You can't go wrong with a tailor, of course, andmost upmarket shops have knowledgeable assistants. Just steer clearof that department store trainee.

Comment on this post